The Car Door and A Bad Day

I had an interesting experience this morning.

I was in a good mood. I parked my car in the parking lot at work with a smile on my face. I would’ve been whistling had I known how to whistle. I opened my car door with a little too much force and grazed the car next to me.

Oops.

I checked to make sure there was no damage to the other car – there wasn’t – and proceeded to walk towards the office building, still smiling.

“Excuse me.”

I looked around. I looked up at the office building next to me. I didn’t see anyone, so I continued walking.

“Excuse me, miss.” A little louder this time.

Finally I found the voice.

There was a man sticking his head out of the second floor window, apparently intent on ruining my day.

“You just slammed your door open into my ****** truck!!!”

“Did I? I’m sorry.”

“Of course you’re sorry.”  Slam.

Sheesh. Did he get up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. And how did he see me anyway? Does he stick his head out of the window all day checking to make sure that no one damages his precious car?

As I continued walking to my office, my smile turned contemplative.

This guy was having a bad day. He chose to take it out on me. Did I do something wrong? Maybe. Did what I did warrant his attack on me? Probably not.

Did I want to let this sourpuss put me in an awful mood for the rest of the day? Absolutely not!

And then it hit me harder than my car door hit the other guy’s car.

My mood is my own.

I alone control how I feel.

If I choose to let something bother me, well then, that’s my problem. If, however, I choose to let things roll off my back, kol hakavod for me. Why should I let my day be spoiled by someone else’s bad day?

And I walked into my office attempting to whistle.

Rosh Chodesh Shevat Repost

A gutten Chodesh to all.

Here's something I posted last year about Rosh Chodesh Shevat.

Enjoy!

A Wifely Song

This is to the tune of Uncle Moishy's Jumping Song. I'm trying to find a link to the tune for those of you who don't know it, but it's eluding me. If anyone finds it, can you post it in a comment?

This is a washing song, a washing song, a washing song,
Washing, washing dishes, being careful as I do
This is a washing song, a washing song, a washing song
Washing, washing dishes until I am quite through

Chorus:
אשת חיל מי ימצא
Let’s go about our day with love
אשת חיל מי ימצא
And make our home one to be proud of

This is a sweeping song, a sweeping song, a sweeping song,
Sweeping, sweeping, sweeping all the dirt into one place
This is a sweeping song, a sweeping song, a sweeping song,
Sweeping, sweeping, sweeping until there is clean space

Chorus

This is a mopping song, a mopping song, a mopping song
Mopping, mopping, mopping slopping water all around
This is a mopping song, a mopping song, a mopping song
Mopping, mopping, mopping until no dirt is to be found

Chorus

This is a laundry song, a laundry song, a laundry song
Sorting, washing clothing so we have what to wear
This is a laundry song, a laundry song, a laundry song
Drying, folding clothing so we will not go bare (I’ll do it with flair)

Chorus

This is a supper song, a supper song, a supper song
Cooking, cooking supper so we’ll have what to eat
This is a supper song, a supper song, a supper song
Cooking, cooking supper so we can stay upbeat

Chorus

This is a Shabbos song, a Shabbos song, a Shabbos song
Cooking, cleaning, setting so we can greet the Shabbos queen
This is a Shabbos song, a Shabbos song, a Shabbos song
Cooking, cleaning, setting until everything’s pristine

Chorus

This is a wifely song, a wifely song, a wifely song
Smiling, laughing happily as we get it all done
This is a wifely song, a wifely song, a wifely song
Building a home for our families is our goal long-run

Chorus

Footsteps in the Snow

When I walked out of my apartment this morning, it was into a winter wonderland (excuse the cliché). The snow was around two feet deep and basically untouched. It was the beautiful white that only exists when the snow is new and has not yet been sullied by association with New York.

Being that the snow was unshoveled, it was hard to get one foot in front of the other without sinking all the way down, past the top of my boots. Finally, I remembered that if you put your feet into the footsteps of others, it's easier to walk because you can see how deep your foot will go.

So that's what I did.

Wherever he (I assume it was a he because the footsteps were so much bigger than mine) went, I followed. When those footsteps stopped, I followed another pair, and then another, until I got to where I needed to go.

It struck me as I was walking that this is a mashal to life.

We go through our lives, and it's hard and challenging at times. Sometimes we sink into bitterness and depression. Sometimes we're not clear on where we need to go. Sometimes, we know where to go, but we just can't get there. And sometimes, we don't know when one wrong step will cause us to fall.

It's at those times that we need to follow footsteps that are bigger than ours. Our gedolim – past and present – have walked the path that we are walking. They blazed the Torah path; now it's up to us to follow it.

My Mother and Me

What is it about almost losing someone that brings home how important they are to you?

My mother recently underwent surgery. Due to complications from the surgery and various other risk factors, she developed a possibly fatal condition that was B"H caught before it could actually become fatal.

But the danger was real.

I've had my differences with my mother in the past – teenage angst and whatnot. We're too much alike and too different at the same time to live together on a regular basis without some kind of fiery display every week or so.

That's ended.

I'm married now, out of the house. I come and go, call to wish good Shabbos, bring over my laundry and raid her cabinets. We've become closer, more equal, with me gaining confidence in our relationship that no longer blows up in my face every so often. Of course, there are still ups and downs. Our relationship isn't perfect, but I see more potential than I used to.

Since the surgery and the complication that arose from it, I'm starting to view my mother differently. I imagine my life without her in it, and I can't see it.

The gaping hole in the tapestry of my life that would exist if I lost her C"V is too raw to exist. Its ragged edges tear at me as I reflect on how badly I've treated her in the past. How casually I treated her, how little I appreciated her.

She loves me like no one else in the world can. She waited for me for so many years, bore me for 9 pain-filled months, delivered me through hours of labor, and this is how I've been treating her?? What's wrong with me? Where is my hakaras hatov?

But now that I almost lost her, I can see things more clearly.

I can see her love for me even when she's at her most annoying. I can see that the things about her that most grate on my nerves are really just her way of expressing that love.

And I can see my love for her and draw on it so I can be the daughter she needs me to be at this critical time.

So, what is it about almost losing someone that brings out how important they are to you? It's the shift in your view of the world – a world without that person – and the realization that it's a much better place with them in it.

Long Time No Speak

You know how it is when you call up a friend you haven't spoken to in a while? You finally work up the courage to call, and it's just so.... stilted. There's that awkward "hi, it's me. How are you?" that starts off the conversation. Then there's that standard silence where the other person tries to figure out who you are and why you're calling. When they finally place you, there's an "Oh hi! What's new with you?" and the conversation (if there is any) flows from there.

Lately, though, it's been worse. Every time I speak to someone I haven't spoken to since I got married they ask "Nu, so how's married life?"

I've kinda been feeling that way about the blog. I've wanted to write. It's been so long since my last post and I've had a lot to say (most of which have gone the way of all good thoughts - out of memory).

But I've been scared of the awkward silence. Of all my readers having gone on to more frequently posted pastures. Of calling into the blogosphere and having everyone be thinking "Musing Maidel, who's that?"

But I've bitten the bullet.

I've said something.

Hi. How are you? How've you been the last few months? I'm back in the world of the posting and hope to pop in relatively frequently.

And yes, B"H, married life is wonderful. Busy, but wonderful...

Two Weeks and Counting...